That's What It's All About...

What exactly creates a neighborhood? Is it a number of houses, a community building, a committee? Is a neighborhood dictated by codes or regulations, or sanctioned off by gated entrances? When I looked up the definition, it basically gave me the generic response of a general vicinity. I thought maybe "community" would offer a more homey feel. Yet unfortunately, "a group of people living in a particular area" offered no more warm fuzzies than strangers.

I like to think words like "neighborhood" and "community" are more than this. Maybe I gloss over the facts and create a better world in my head where community can be synonymous with family, and family can be equal to loving relationships. Maybe that's my dream world. But if so, I'm okay with that-maybe I work to make my dream world more of a reality.

My neighborhood has a brick sign that announces to the surrounding area that we are Crieve Hall Neighborhood. We have an actual neighborhood association and a specific area that defines Crieve Hall. But Crieve Hall is a neighborhood not because of these things, but the people behind it all. The Crieve Hall Neighborhood Association (CHNA) is a group that originated as people banded together to fight a through-road being put in our area--but since then, it's expanded-they advocate for the community and they organize functions to get us all together. They've raised money for families in need and they've showcased the fun that comes from living in our neighborhood.

We now have the Crieve Hall Cares committee to really focus on the social aspect of our neighborhood. We want to have fun, and we want to learn how to really serve each other. We are more than a neighborhood--we're striving to create community and family. We notice when a strange car is parked at a neighbor's, or when someone has a new baby or loses a spouse.  We have a forum where people can comment on the good and bad and general goings-on in the area.  We care for each other and want to show that by being involved.


Investing in the lives of others-maybe that's what my definition of "community" is all about. Not merely living side by side, but living together. A neighborhood is an opportunity to have people of all different ages, backgrounds, and viewpoints come together for the common good of where they live. A neighborhood is a melting pot of differences, yet these are the closest people to the place you call home--why not reach out and get to know them?

I'm reading a book right now-- "Who's Got Your Back" by Keith Ferrazzi, and he states, "We're all entrepreneurs of our own ideas, whether we own our own companies or work for someone else. We're all leaders in our own lives--with or colleagues, with our employees, with our kids, and in our communities. Each on of us is a salesperson of ourselves and our opinions..."

It's such a crazy concept, but I hope there is a time in everyone's life that they go through toddlerhood again; that time where you learn that life is about choices, and that you have control!

As I deal with my own "wonderful" two-year-old, I see how she is testing the waters of independence, challenging social norms, and questioning the reasoning behind Mommy's demands. And I wonder, isn't life about being your own entrepreneur?

Embrace challenges, question "rules", know that your ideas have merit, and be the best salesperson of yourself that you can. You have so much to offer this world, and I hope you embrace the opportunity to share your finest light with others.

What great things are you contributing to the everyday world?

Do You Really Know What You're Doing?

I was driving today listening to NPR and heard an interesting piece on Fair Trade in Africa. Of course this piqued my interest as my brother lives in Rwanda and has founded one of the best platforms for social entrepreneurship I've seen. His company's mission statement is this:

KEZA is dedicated to developing sustainable fashion businesses from existing women's cooperatives in Africa. We will ensure sustainability, integrity, efficiency and quality from all of our KEZA partners. We will empower our partners to own their own businesses and work autonomously from KEZA. We will help establish Africa's position in the luxury fashion industry and bring much needed income and careers to those in need. We will no longer speak of "those Africans" living in poverty. KEZA is where "they" become "we", and together we will strive to bridge the gap between the rich and the poor.



So going back to the story on fair trade that I heard on the radio...they talked about how the understanding of fair trade has to be more than us just supporting places in Africa--we have to empower the people to know what they are doing and why. I was shocked to hear that the people in Uganda harvesting coffee originally had never tasted the stuff, and some actually thought they were growing bullets for the civil war. Talk about being disconnected with your work!

This got me thinking...how many of us take the moment to really stop and think about what we do each day? This applies for your work, but also emcompasses all the other areas of your life: spirituality, family, social, physical, mental and emotional. What things do we do on a regular basis? What is their significance? Why do we go to work in the morning? Why do we make dinner for the family at night? What's the point?

Today, take a moment to evaluate all you did this past week--your attitude, your work, you personal walk, and how you interacted with others. What was the significance of all you did? Look at your common habits--do you criticize a lot? Do you drive to work day in and day out and worry in the car? Do you just go through the motions of cleaning the house and making the meals?

Look at your life with significance. I heard a man once say "Don't confuse success with significance." Just being productive in life--bringing home a paycheck, making sure kids are dressed and fed, or keeping track of daily needs--this may seem like you accomplished success, but have you really addressed the significance of what you are doing?

Going back to fair trade, the whole point is to value every aspect of the business, from giving the often overlooked and developing countries an opportunity to earn a fair wage to bringing great products and a new insight to the more developed countries. Fair trade is set up to give opportunities for business to areas that otherwise may be overlooked. With KEZA, the women of BURANGA who make the beautiful necklaces you see online work hard on every necklace. The KEZA team doesn't just pay the women for the necklaces; they teach the women about the business. They explain the numbers and how quality really sells. They don't tell the women how it is; they lay out the facts and allow the women to grasp and retain the understanding of what true quality products are. The women don't just go about the process of creating each bead by hand in a robot-like manner. They know the business of it--they understand the audience that purchase the necklaces in the US and UK, and they know where every penny of the profits go--to create a living for them where they do more than just survive, they thrive, and to pay for tuition for their children to attend school, to pay for materials and rent for the business, and for health insurance and counseling for them and their families.


The KEZA business understands significance. They understand that what you do every day has to have meaning, and you have to have passion in life. This first group of women came from living a life of mere survival--from just living in sheer existence. They survived the Rwandan genocide, they survived rape and prostitution, family murders and ravaging AIDS victims. They had existed for long enough. Now they embrace significance. They embrace a life where every action has a consequence, and they can stand with heads held high, knowing their role in life is important to their children and to the world.

Let's take note of it, and see how we make our own mark in this story that is our life. And if you are craving for more, check out this video for some little ways to make a signficant mark in the world: http://www.everymondaymovie.com/

What does the "Good Life" mean to you?

A few weeks ago, I was asked for an interview. Wow--now why would someone want to interview me? Kendra Tilman, founder of http://www.goodlifediva.com/ has come to know me because of 48 Days, and she's read my blogs on the NET. She asked to interview me as a work-from-home mom...it was so much fun to do, and I was able to give great props to both 48 Days and KEZA. The name of her website is Good Life Diva, and their mission is this: Our purpose at Good Life is to help mothers match their calling and their careers and obtain a quality of life that meets their family’s personal needs. Mothers all over the world need support and role models in this area.

Wow--what an honor. It meant a lot that she asked me for an interview...and once again, as I sat there as a role model for other moms, I was reminded myself about how much I, too should always be open to learn and grow. It's so much easier to give advice to others than it is to live it yourself! As I heard myself talking about how to manage working from home and prioritize your life, I was thinking in the back of my head "if only I could do this better!"

I can't say my life is perfect. I certainly can't say that working from home is for every mom, or that it's even easy for me. I have hard days, and I have days where I desperately reach out for family or friends to help with Clara because I have too much work to do. I have other days where I simply have to put work aside and focus on my child and our home. But, when Kendra asked what what the "Good Life" was to me, I was happy to say "I'm living it!"

The "Good Life", to me, doesn't mean that every day is perfect, that I'm basking in sunshine, or that I'm rolling in dough. It doesn't mean that my house is spotless and not a drop of yuckiness comes out of some orifice on Clara's face. But it means that I'm really, really happy. When I look at the overall path my life has taken, I'm happy with where I am. I couldn't ask for a better life--I'm in love with my husband and he loves me back, I have a daughter that needs to "hold" me and tells me "I give you hug and kiss" every day. I have a roof over my head, and warm bed at night, and peace in my heart. I have a supportive family--both through blood and through marriage--that is involved in my life and in my daughter's life. I'm blessed beyond measure in the things that stay close to my heart.

The weather changes, income levels may come and go, health is sometimes good, sometime not. I get stressed, tired, cranky and upset. So does my husband, and so does our daughter. But overall, we have love. And being in the present moment--embracing our good times, and knowing our trials will always pass--it makes me relish this good life I get to call mine.

Please take a moment to watch the interview, and please comment with what insights you may have for me and/or for others!

The interview is broken into two 10 minute segments--hope you can watch it!
Here is straight from her newsletter:
Hello, Good Life DIVAS! My interview with Ashley Logsdon of 48 Days.com is now online! As a WAHM (work at home mom) she understands the demands of having both a career and a family. In addition to discussing her family and work life, she also talks about an amazing organization she volunteers with that is impacting the lives of mothers in Rwanda. Watch her interview. I guarantee it will be worth your time. I know you know other women who could use the resources we provide on our site. SHARE them with all the mothers in your life who are or want to live the Good Life!

Little Things

What can I offer you, my Creator,
Who crafted each being with love
How can I give you a gift for the heavens
When you made both earth and above?

You made the eagle to soar through the sky
You made the robin to sing
You created the sea and the butterfly
What, then is my offering?

How do I honor you who made all…
To give you something unique
How do I, a being so small,
Amaze thee with Whom I now seek?

You answer me now in the blow of the wind
In the sweet breeze through my hair
You answer me as the trees sway and they bend
And you speak to me through my prayer.

“Give me the gift of receiving it all.
Take everything in that I made
Seek every creature no matter how small
And see the beauty that’s displayed.”

“Walk in the churches of forest and leaves
Teach your children to know
names of my flowers, songs of the bees…
To treasure all things here below.”

In heaven we imagine the sparkly gates
We forget about what we see here
We spend our time with drama and hate
And pass by the sweet simple deer

Nature is your gift to us,
and we humans seem to forget
That the greatest gift we give you back
is to see it, to love and respect

You know me, you know us all
You know each hair on our head
You’re with us on our journey now
And walk with us when we are dead

It’s my gift to honor you
To truly see the world
To cherish each moment all the way through
To share it with my little girl

I see the whispers in the trees
The sparkle on the flower
I hear you say that you love me
Each and every hour

It’s in the wind, it’s in the sun
It’s even in the rain
It’s the moment that we are one
And I run back to you again

Thank you for the little things
Thank you for sharing it all
Thank you for creating a world of awe
That amazes me, no matter how small.

~Ashley Logsdon

Walking in Circles

This morning I started the first in a four-week series with a group from St. Augustine’s Episcopal Church where I go. The title of the study is “Visions of Peace in the Kingdom of God” and Becca has aptly subtitled it “Walking in Circles.” She has written an incredible blog on it here: http://www.beccastevens.org/.

Instead of a typical Bible Study in a Sunday School room or even a home, this group meets at Radnor Lake, a state park, where we trek around the paths, literally in a circle. We read the verses, we prepare our hearts, and we open our eyes to what we observe in His Creation. We truly walk and contemplate. We stop along the way to reflect on the scripture and anything that seems significant—in the verses, in our walk, in our lives.

As usual, I had Clara with me, and was a little uncertain of how she would handle a three mile hike through the woods. I started it out as I usually do on a hike—full tilt power hike, charging up the hills with determination and speed, thinking of the workout this was giving on my body. Thankfully, though, the workout finally hit my brain.

I thought about Becca’s words that life is about the journey, and about seasons. That we begin and end with God, so instead of just pressing forward for the goal, maybe we should reflect on the process, and on the seasons of our lives. In many respects, we do merely walk in circles throughout our life…

I thought about my daughter, and how when I was pregnant, everything was in front of me—my literal belly, the bright hope for my unborn and excitement for when she would arrive. It seemed life was all forward thinking, and even then I circled back to my past and my husband’s past to choose a name for our daughter that embraced the great women in our lives—our grandmothers, Clara and Isabel.

Once she arrived, we charged forward, and before I knew it, here I am again, walking with a literal weight on my back now—this child that can bring so much good, yet bear so much significance and responsibility. It’s funny how sometimes we carry a burden and don’t allow for help—either we don’t want it, or can’t use it. Today while walking, many offered to carry the backpack with Clara in it, but I knew that it was not a day to pass her off to a stranger, and that she needed me on that hike. Sometimes we carry our figurative burdens alone, too. Maybe sometimes it’s better if we took up the offer of a friend.

So here I am, with a “burden” on my back. We walk in silence and I soak up nature, finding peace amidst the chaos of life. We come up on a deer, and Clara excitedly points, exclaiming “hi deer!” and blowing kisses to the confused deer that stare at the contraption on my back. Her sheer enthusiasm is contagious, and we start to really walk through nature together. She hears the birds chirp and an airplane go by. We get down on the ground to look at and touch the cool moss growing on a tree.

I think about my excitement during pregnancy, and now I look at the moment I’m sharing with my daughter. Wow—I’m sharing this. Clara is seeing nature now with me, no longer nestled in my womb, but braving the big world by my side. She’s getting excited to see the trees, waving her arms in the air to sign the word. She is pointing out that the sun is peeking through the clouds. She remembered the ducks in the lake as we stood in the parking lot before we even started.

I’ve come full circle—back to that hope and anticipation of a bright future ahead—that peace in knowing I’m going to walk again through the woods with my daughter, and she’s going to show me even more “new” things. She brings me back to my own childhood; seeing beauty from a two-foot perspective. I’m starting to realize that we live life in one big circle that is created by the tiny circles we walk every moment. It’s not “two steps forward, one step back,” but it’s a journey of growth and renewal, of reflection and memories, of past lessons and pains and of future hopes and dreams.

The present is always our point in the circle-it’s our moment to embrace what is. It’s the moment where I can look forward to the future, back to the past, and also by my side to experience life with who I am with right now. It includes all aspects of me, and of God. It embraces our journey as continuously rolling, and forever giving us chances to see and know more about this God who invested so much in you and in me.

I’m thankful for my time today. My time to be alone in the woods with my thoughts, and my time to share them with the group. My time to teach my daughter about moss and leaves and birds, and her time to teach me about the depth of my love for her. Our time to slow down and look at life from a different angle, and how to open our hearts to every season of life.

Becca said “we are born to be loved, to soak that love in and then to offer love back.” What a sweet gift to be given. That love is why we have circles in our lives instead of a straight path. We go back to God’s love for our strength, to our mother’s love for affirmation, to our children’s love for hope. We continuously move and roll through life, no matter if the burden is in front of us or behind us, or even in our arms. We keep walking on our journey, and we can walk in peace that the present will continue to flow through love and life. As we roll down to the bottom of our circles of life, know that the next journey is back up again.

It's in the Past!

During the umpteenth time this week that I have watched Lion King with my daughter, once again I am hit by a significant moment in the movie. I've pulled the poignant clip here:



Wow, what a true statement. How many times do we get hung up on the past--old hurts, fears, insecurities... It's easy to say "get over it," but every one of us knows that's easier said then done. In dealing with various family situations through coaching, child care, and my own personal life, I've seen where generational struggles can eat up any peace in a home. It's a hard balance to embrace the past as that significant part of who you are today, and also acknowledging that what is in the past doesn't mean it has to be your future.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more ironic it is that we want to run from our past. When you watch a scary movie, what keeps you scared? It's that image, running over and over in your mind. It sparks your imagination, it grows even bigger, and creates even more fear. What happens when you fear becoming like your father, or you fear rejection like you grew up with, or your mother's condescending words ring in your ears? We want to block the image, we want to run, and what do we end up doing? Dwelling on it!

Going back to Earl Nightingale's famous words, "You become what you think about." It's scary that our issues from the past--the fears and insecurities we run from--end up being the issues we can dwell on most. And unfortunately when we start dwelling, it's easy to start becoming what we fear most.

What a downer. How wonderful that we have a choice in this! Not everyone has a bad childhood, and not everyone has deep family scars. But we all have made mistakes in our lives, and we all have things that we can look back on with more wisdom now...so, how will we deal with our past? How will we be in charge of the present, and of our future? Not by running, not by dwelling, but by how we learn from it. Embrace it for what it is: your past. It's your story. It's what has made you the person you are today, so be grateful that you are present. But remember that the past only stays a mistake, failure, or dark secret when you learn nothing from it. Learning doesn't mean harboring anger and resentment, even though you may have every right to do that. Learning doesn't mean you block off all emotion. Learning means you have to grow--you have to take what you can and move on for the better.

Remember that you are wisened now...although you cannot erase history, tomorrow is a mystery...more importantly, think of it as "mystory"...or "my story". You get to write the future. You get to take the wisdom from your past lessons and create a beautiful future. So in the wise words of Rafiki, "you can either run from it, or learn from it. What are you going to do?"